Places

Do you ever take a moment to sit and ask yourself why you are where you are? Like, why am I in the exact spot I'm in, and how did I get here? Or even - how long will I be here?

Every. Single. Day.

Some days roll around where I get so frustrated with my placement in certain significant things in my life - examples can be work, friends, school, future plans... etc. The other day at work I was called by my coworker, Katie, who was going through normal day-to-day instructions with me, and she messaged me after the phone call had ended saying, "You sound down, are you okay?" Sometimes, it takes little things like this to really break a person down... and let me tell you - I broke. We ended up having a heart-to-heart and it brought to light things that I didn't even realize about myself, so I thought I would like to share with those who may need to hear the exact same thing.

I am a worrier. Like, B I G  T I M E worry-wart. When I think about the future, even next week, I get pretty stressed out if I see a crammed calendar. It doesn't help that I have the hardest time saying "no" to people, especially people who ask me to babysit their super adorable kids; I somehow always end up with a filled schedule. Anyways - my point is I  W O R R Y. One of the things I worry most about is my placement in life.

The career I am in is very money-driven, and most people in the industry have an "every man for themselves" mentality. It is hard to keep afloat in this industry, let alone maintain a positive attitude throughout the day. There are too many times where I call to get information or ask a favor from someone and their response is rude, when in fact I am just doing my job, and they are doing theirs. It is far too easy to get overwhelmed with work load - same goes for any other job - and when you add even the slightest bit of negativity on top of that... it just gets messy. In our conversation, Katie compared this overwhelming feeling to the feeling of drowning. She continued to say, "But know, that this is not life and death. What really matters is Jesus... and he loves you so much and that's who will bring you peace and so much joy."

Can I get an Amen?! I mean come on, this was the greatest thing I had heard in forever, and the timing could not have been more perfect. More importantly, this is SO TRUE! Work is work, and yes at work you play a significant role in a specific place where people are depending on you to come through and do your job... but it is NOT life and death. If you screw something up, yeah it can go terribly wrong, but it's not going to kill you. You may have to swallow your pride and admit defeat, but don't let it freak you out to the point where you are constantly stressed and "drowning". (***note to self).

Our conversation continued: "Know God can use everything and if you are seeking Him, He will answer. He will make sure you are exactly where you are supposed to be." When I start to think about the rest of my life, my career and the industry I'm in, the constant exhaustion at the end of everyday from giving it your all... it's frightening. Its frightening to think that I could be "stuck" here in a few years, when in reality I'm not stuck at all. Every single day you devote your time to be in certain places for certain periods of time, and none of it is without reason. Even though you may not know the reason, just know there is a purpose for everything you do. God has you in these specific places to show you more about yourself. It could be a test of patience, grace, love, or a test of talents you may not even know about. He puts us in places where He wants us to learn and grow from trials, and He promises that he will never give us anything we cannot handle. Our God is a just God, and He will bless you when you seek after Him. I believe priorities play a big role in the outcome of your stress levels. If you put the Lord as your number one all the time, you would understand that He has everything in control and that He is looking out for your ultimate best interest (even if you don't agree)...

"He will provide you with the perfect amount of grace to be where He wants you to be. And also, the more we keep seeking Him, the more He will make the desires of our hearts match His will. He has you tight in his arms. He is your Heavenly Father and knows exactly what you need to be joyous and fulfilled inside."

Okay so at this point I'm in tears and I'm hoping that the gal I share an office with can't hear me sniffling and wiping my nose with my sweater. I'm just going to conclude my post with those words because they couldn't have been said more beautifully.

Sincerely,

Girl Adjusting Her Priorities.
xx

p.s. thank you & i love you Katie

Thursday, March 24, 2016

Long time no talk, blogger friends.
Update on life:
I am currently sitting in my office of my new job as a Jr. Processor. Today is a slow day, which doesn't happen very often. My job consists of calling lenders, employment agencies, and insurance companies to obtain information, faxing requests into companies/corporations, and prepping loan disclosures for clients. I am working for a company called Coastal Pacific Lending Inc. and I am seriously thrilled that I have received this opportunity. I LOVE MY JOB. My bosses are both so amazing and generous, I am so fortunate to have met them a few months ago. Who knew I would be starting my career at 18 years old?! I definitely did not even imagine that.
For those of you who don't know, I have been attending Arizona's School of Real Estate & Business to obtain my real estate licence to become a realtor for the state of Arizona. I have completed my 90 hours of school (THANK THE LORD) and now I just need to pass a few tests and I will officially be licensed to sell your home, of find you the new perfect home! I am so excited to start in that business world.
Please keep me in your prayers that the Lord will guide my steps in a God-honoring direction when it comes to my work life, and that I will have a fearless mentality in this business.

Things to remember:
Age does NOT define you!!! You can do anything you set your mind to.
Follow your dreams; don't sell yourself short. Do what you want to do, and be in a business that you want to be in.

Sincerely,

Almost-realtor-Ashley.
xx

p.s. LET ME SELL YOUR HOUSE!!!! ;)

Want to make God chuckle?

Way too often, I like to think I have got it all figured out. I have these ideas in my head of what my life will turn out to be, ideally, in five, ten, even twenty years from now. I will be happy married with a cute little family and a decent sized house with a backyard that can contain a bunch of little husky puppies. A girl can dream, right?
Somewhere, in all of that mess of imagination, I get lost. I lose focus of what really matters. I forget that God's plan for me is way better than any plan that I can even think of. His plans are among the things we cannot even fathom, or begin to understand. Somehow, they just work. Sometimes, we don't see it right away. Sometimes, we may never see it, ever. But every single path that we travel is not unforeseen. God sees the future, the present, the past, and He will never leave your side during a single moment.
So why do we plan out our future, as if it will actually happen the way we want it to? I think a part of it is because we are worried that He won't "come through", or satisfy us in the end, which is actually very ironic.
In the bible, there are endless times where it has been said that the only thing that will truly fully satisfy you, is searching hard and unapologetically after the Lord. As humans, we tend to complicate things way too much, and that is when things start to get real messy. We look for satisfaction in material things, as well as other people. Sometimes we look for satisfaction in a certain relationships, or sometimes it is just in the approval from certain people. Other times, we try to find it in our new fancy clothes, makeup, or even gadgets and toys. Isn't if funny how, in the end, we are left thirsty for something more? We cling so tight to our ideal images of security, happiness, and success. Why is it all just so hard to let go of?
Thats where our human trust issues come in. We don't trust Him completely. We are afraid to give up our scrapbook of hopes and dreams for our future in return for His plan for our lives here on earth. We forget the bigger picture: that none of this really matters. We came into this earth with nothing, and we will leave the same way. What does matter is how you spend your time here. Are you going to spend your time here glorifying God, and spreading His word to those who need to hear it? Or are you going to spend your time messing around with money, fame, and other fake treasures?
I have come to the conclusion that every time we try to plan out our own lives, God just sits in His throne and literally LOL's at all of us. I'm not talking some light giggles, I'm talking hysterically laughing so hard that He is probably rolling on the floor by the end of the thought.
All in all, I believe that the will to trust and be obedient to God has shown me some of the most amazing and beautiful stories in lives of the people around me. I have had friends who travel outside of the country to serve the Lord, and return saying that it was the greatest and most humbling experience they have ever encountered before. Would they have imagined traveling overseas to do missionary work five years ago? Never. Were they completely satisfied knowing that they listened to the Lord's plan for them? Yes. In fact, one of my friends are moving back overseas to serve the Lord, and it encourages me so much knowing that this was not in any way her plan for her life. She listened to God's tug on her heart, and was immediately obedient.
Of course, it's not in God's plan for everyone to move overseas, but it could be anything. A trial, a move, an illness, a death, a divorce; these are all real things that happen. These are also all things that we learn from, grow from, and hopefully learn to understand. These things are all part of a very specific order of events that only God knows, before they even happen. You can't prevent these things, or come close to predicting them, either.
Matthew 11:28 - Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
John 14:27 - Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
So now, let me ask you...are you willing to let go, and let God?

xx
Ash

Psalm 16:11 - You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

p.s. follow my friend, Amanda, as she travels to Australia to serve the Lord for two whole years on her blog: https://simplyamandablog.wordpress.com (love you Mandy) :)

13 drafts

I opened up my laptop again this morning just to end up closing it after a chunk of time was spent writing with subdued ideas. Looking through my drafts from the past two months or so, I found it frustrating that my words weren't good enough for my own satisfaction, let alone someone else's.
It got me thinking: why do I really care that much, honestly? Why do I let other's opinions control my actions, and furthermore, my life?
More often than not, I let the thoughts of [you're a fake and a swindler, or you are not important and your voice doesn't matter] get into my head. It is a terrible habit to think like that, but I think that in different ways we all struggle with how we react to the opinions of others. If we didn't, we wouldn't be human.
In the bible, there is a boy named David, who is the perfect representation of the courage we should have in God. David was no mighty man, as he tended to his sheep on a day-to-day basis. The Israelites were terrified of a warrior of the Philistines, Goliath, whom had challenged them to send out a man to battle him. The deal was: if no man could defeat Goliath, the Israelites would become slaves to the Philistines. David went off to Saul to tell him that he was going to fight Goliath himself, because he did not fear the giant warrior. When Saul agreed to send David, this tiny sheep herder with no fighting experience, to fight Goliath, the largest and scariest warrior known at the time, everyone doubted that David would return. Honestly, I would too. David however fought in the name of the Lord, and he successfully defeated Goliath with a single slingshot and stone. Imagine if he would have listened to the opinions of those people who did not believe he could come through. His people would have been enslaved for their lives.
I was talking with my mentor a while back about social media and the extent of its purpose. The conversation began with the belittling of any and all social media sites, as it gives room for boasting, temptation, selfish motive, jealous intention, and even dangerous oversharing of information. While social media "sin" tends to be a very slippery slope to fall into, it was also a resource that God allowed us to have to use for good. Think about all of the people you follow, or the people that follow you, whom you don't see on a daily, weekly, or even monthly basis. They see what you post, regardless if they "like" the content of it. Think of the impacts you could make on the lives of those people if you used your social media site as your ministry. Don't you want someone to look at your life and say: what is so different about them? Where does their true joy come from? What separates them from the world? Following up those questions, don't you want them to see that the only answer is Jesus? You are completely capable of shining a light from afar, and social media is among one example of ways you can.
So, the point of this post? I just want to tell whoever is reading this that you are important. Everything you say has an impact on the receiver of the message in some way. God uses His people through ways that we will never understand.
Be courageous with your words and your faith, but be gentle in the meantime. Love those around you, no matter if it is directly or indirectly. Go the extra mile to serve others without expecting anything in return. Pay attention to the little things. Pray with the kids you babysit before bedtime. Talk about God as if he is your best friend. Be transparent with people. Practice what you preach.
Have the same courage that David had in God; He will never fail you, and that is a fact.

Sincerely,

"Published" Ash.
xx

9/11

I know, I know. I just posted a few days ago about how I wasn't going to be blogging for a while.
...I lied. 
But that is because, and ONLY because, yesterday and today were both very important days.

September 10: Yesterday was World Suicide Prevention Day. I have so many opinions that I keep to myself about suicide, one being the fact that I believe it is a selfish act. The act and attempt have both hurt the people around me, and myself as well. Besides the fact that I think it is selfish, I DO understand that it is, without-a-doubt, a REAL thing that goes on in this world. I am not close to understanding what it is like to want to take my life, for I have never had those thoughts, but I have seen the hurt and pain that comes from it. I have seen the misery that follows the act; I have seen the grief, the sorrow, the regret. I guess my whole point to this is the following:

You will never be too "messed up" to a point where God can't fix you. Seriously. No matter how bad stuff gets, or how distant people are, or how twisted your thoughts may seem, God will NEVER leave you. He won't. Ever. We sing a song at church that says: "life is worth the living, just because He lives". Can I get an AMEN??!!???!!!!? In all of these things, we are MORE than conquerors. You are here for a reason, and no one in this world has the right to tell you other wise, ESPECIALLY yourself. Many people believe we are our biggest enemies, and I think that is partially true. We are our own biggest critiques, but with the power of God we can overcome anything. Please don't ever forget: your value does not ever decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth.
September 11: I stumbled upon a few pictures this morning. Here they are:

...are you in complete awe like I was? I have known the meaning of the rainbow since I was a baby who could barely run without tipping over, but I realized that not many people know the true meaning. A rainbow represents God's promise to His people. It was in the story of Noah's Ark, and He promised he would never flood the world again. It is the most beautiful representation of a promise that anyone could ever think of. Seriously, props to you God! Two rainbows were shining bright yesterday afternoon over where the two twin towers use to stand. This has to be one of the most amazing things I have ever lived to see. Today is a day to remember those who were, fourteen years ago, headed off to a normal day at work but never returned home to their families and loved ones. It's a day to remember to take a little extra time to tell those around you that you appreciate them, and care for the unconditionally. It's a day to remember to never take life for granted, and to be thankful for every individual day you have been blessed to carry on. It is a day to remember that no matter what you are going through, our God is just and righteous and faithful and will never leave us, because that is His promise. 

Sincerely,

Ashley.
xx