9/11

I know, I know. I just posted a few days ago about how I wasn't going to be blogging for a while.
...I lied. 
But that is because, and ONLY because, yesterday and today were both very important days.

September 10: Yesterday was World Suicide Prevention Day. I have so many opinions that I keep to myself about suicide, one being the fact that I believe it is a selfish act. The act and attempt have both hurt the people around me, and myself as well. Besides the fact that I think it is selfish, I DO understand that it is, without-a-doubt, a REAL thing that goes on in this world. I am not close to understanding what it is like to want to take my life, for I have never had those thoughts, but I have seen the hurt and pain that comes from it. I have seen the misery that follows the act; I have seen the grief, the sorrow, the regret. I guess my whole point to this is the following:

You will never be too "messed up" to a point where God can't fix you. Seriously. No matter how bad stuff gets, or how distant people are, or how twisted your thoughts may seem, God will NEVER leave you. He won't. Ever. We sing a song at church that says: "life is worth the living, just because He lives". Can I get an AMEN??!!???!!!!? In all of these things, we are MORE than conquerors. You are here for a reason, and no one in this world has the right to tell you other wise, ESPECIALLY yourself. Many people believe we are our biggest enemies, and I think that is partially true. We are our own biggest critiques, but with the power of God we can overcome anything. Please don't ever forget: your value does not ever decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth.
September 11: I stumbled upon a few pictures this morning. Here they are:

...are you in complete awe like I was? I have known the meaning of the rainbow since I was a baby who could barely run without tipping over, but I realized that not many people know the true meaning. A rainbow represents God's promise to His people. It was in the story of Noah's Ark, and He promised he would never flood the world again. It is the most beautiful representation of a promise that anyone could ever think of. Seriously, props to you God! Two rainbows were shining bright yesterday afternoon over where the two twin towers use to stand. This has to be one of the most amazing things I have ever lived to see. Today is a day to remember those who were, fourteen years ago, headed off to a normal day at work but never returned home to their families and loved ones. It's a day to remember to take a little extra time to tell those around you that you appreciate them, and care for the unconditionally. It's a day to remember to never take life for granted, and to be thankful for every individual day you have been blessed to carry on. It is a day to remember that no matter what you are going through, our God is just and righteous and faithful and will never leave us, because that is His promise. 

Sincerely,

Ashley.
xx

Dear Friends, Family, Acquaintances, Subscribers, Lost Internet-Seekers:

My life recently has been a giant blur of multiple things all factoring into one central idea: my future. School has started up, which has actually been going great. My classes are fairly easy, and for the most part, I have been fortunate enough to get decent teachers. Along with school, the thought of what I want to study has (obviously) been clouding my mind with many random thoughts. Setting goals has been a huge part of this past week or so, and I have my mind set on particularly one goal for my future. This goal is time consuming, physically draining, and ultimately very risky when it comes to pouring all of my focus towards it. I know I can accomplish it, however it surely will take lots of time, effort, and energy. It could take a few months, it could take a year, but all I know is that it is what has been on my mind and it will be what my focus is on for the next while. I believe in myself, and that is the only consent I need. Of course, nothing will go the way planned I am sure... but I do know that God has got me where He wants me at the right times, and there is no such thing as a coincidence. This is me taking advantage of those moments, the people He has placed in my life, and my passions for certain things.
Due to the demand for time that this will consume, I will be stepping away from social media for a bit. I guess this is essentially a "pointless" blog post, but I just wanted to leave an explanation post for my lack of involvement with my website. No, I do not owe anyone an explanation, but it settles better with me knowing I put it out there. I know probably eight people total will see this post, but that's because it will be eight people whom I care about and whom I hope care for me.
Until my goal is accomplished, I will talk to you all soon.

"Do not tell people about your dreams, show them."

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11.

Sincerely,

Girl With a Dream.
xx

bye bye seventeen...

Well guys... it is currently 8:52 pm on a Monday night and I am laying in bed on the family laptop thinking about the past 17 years + 364 days + 21 hours + 8 minutes. The date is August 24, 2015, and it is officially my last day as a "child". I am not quite sure I can collect all of the thoughts in my head and write them down all within the next three hours, but I have one outlying thought I would like to share.

These past seventeen years have been so good to me, no doubt. I was talking with a friend today about how silly troubles of the past seem now, but that back then it seemed like the world was going to cave in. It is so ironic how the troubles of my toddler years were not having the community coloring book to myself, or leaving the house without my teddy bear. Yes, those were the moments where I literally thought the world itself was ending. In my teen years, my troubles progressed to curfew times, boys my parents did not approve of, and clothes that magically disappeared from my closet *cough-ALYSSA-cough*. Again- the end of the world. Period. Now, I find myself surrounded by an older generation much more often, and their struggles seem to be so much more "real" than mine used to be. Financial problems, infertility, and drug/substance abuse are just among the list of the stories I hear on a day-to-day basis. 

With all that being said, you would think that I am terrified of this idea that tomorrow I am a "grown-up". I was reading a book earlier called Anything, by Jennie Allen, and I came across a beautiful statement. "You have to thank God for the seemingly good and the seemingly bad because really, you don't know the difference." I have been completely blessed with a healthy and plentiful eighteen years of life, and most of the time I completely take this for granted. For the years to come, I wish I could say I am ready, but all I can say right now is I am preparing. I am preparing for a restless life, and a life that will be rich in love, friendship, family, and faith. I am also preparing for a life filled with struggle, disappointment, failure, and inconsistency...because let's face it, it happens to all of us. I am a strong believer in the fact that God will give and take away what He feels is best for His people, or what will draw His people nearer to Him. Even when life gets ugly and messy and nasty, it is still a part of the beautiful painting God has created on one of His canvases.

My hope and prayer for my future years to come is that I am willing to give up everything to do anything for the glory of God. I will move or stay; pursue or leave; speak or rest. Easier said than done, obviously...but I will take these things day by day, and I have no doubt I will be in a place where I belong. I am excited for these days to come. I can only hope that my canvas will be colorful.

Bring it on, eighteen.

Sincerely,

Girl Up Past School-Night Hours.

xx

Washington, Summer 2015 (pt. 4)

Our fifth and final day in Washington was amazing, and that day is the reason I miss it so much. Ever had one of those days where nothing in the day goes according to your plan? This was one of those days. Oddly enough, those days are my favorite days. (My Aunt, Dree and I actually discussed this topic in the car.) I am not a fan of surprises, and I am usually one who goes along with my day according to my schedule. Every destination that we planned to go to didn't work out. We tried four or five different places for dinner, but they were all way too packed. It was a Saturday night, and the streets were filled with the smell of smoke and authentic pizza. The sound of horns echoed between the tall city buildings and the once-in-a-while screech of tires would startle the elderly couples and kids holding their mom's hands. We found a hole-in-the-wall pizza joint and settled for a thin crust pepperoni pizza. Due to our inability to manage time wisely, we had to eat in ten minutes in order to catch the ferry at 8:10, so we stuffed our faces and ran a half mile down Pike Avenue to barely make it onto the boat. We managed to have boat security called on us, (long story), and caught a ferry that was running over an hour late back to Seattle. Roaming the streets searching for any coffee or ice cream shop was exhausting at 10:05 (they all happened to close at 10:00 btw). Admitting defeat, we wrapped up our adventure and headed home for the night. We jammed to our "song of the trip", Love Me Like You Mean It by Kelsea Ballerini, the whole ride home. We chatted about our days and adventures, and brainstormed about the future possibilities, This day felt so normal, so typical. I remember thinking to myself, this could be me everyday in a few years. I loved this day.

I miss you so dearly, WA. Please don't forget me.

Sincerely,

Girl Getting Back To Reality.
xx

Washington, Summer 2015 (pt. 3)

On our fourth day in Washington, I so very fortunately got to visit my other auntie, Shannon. We spent the day at the lake house with her and her family (minus Brandon), and had a blast paddle boarding, jet skiing, and barbecuing. :)

I love the lake. I love the water. I love boating. I think I have come to the conclusion that I would prefer the lake over the beach. 1 - The ocean scares me. 2 - I HATE sand. With a passion. 3 - The lake is so calm and relaxing. Loved this day with these people.

Sincerely,

Lake Lover.

xx