Want to make God chuckle?

Way too often, I like to think I have got it all figured out. I have these ideas in my head of what my life will turn out to be, ideally, in five, ten, even twenty years from now. I will be happy married with a cute little family and a decent sized house with a backyard that can contain a bunch of little husky puppies. A girl can dream, right?
Somewhere, in all of that mess of imagination, I get lost. I lose focus of what really matters. I forget that God's plan for me is way better than any plan that I can even think of. His plans are among the things we cannot even fathom, or begin to understand. Somehow, they just work. Sometimes, we don't see it right away. Sometimes, we may never see it, ever. But every single path that we travel is not unforeseen. God sees the future, the present, the past, and He will never leave your side during a single moment.
So why do we plan out our future, as if it will actually happen the way we want it to? I think a part of it is because we are worried that He won't "come through", or satisfy us in the end, which is actually very ironic.
In the bible, there are endless times where it has been said that the only thing that will truly fully satisfy you, is searching hard and unapologetically after the Lord. As humans, we tend to complicate things way too much, and that is when things start to get real messy. We look for satisfaction in material things, as well as other people. Sometimes we look for satisfaction in a certain relationships, or sometimes it is just in the approval from certain people. Other times, we try to find it in our new fancy clothes, makeup, or even gadgets and toys. Isn't if funny how, in the end, we are left thirsty for something more? We cling so tight to our ideal images of security, happiness, and success. Why is it all just so hard to let go of?
Thats where our human trust issues come in. We don't trust Him completely. We are afraid to give up our scrapbook of hopes and dreams for our future in return for His plan for our lives here on earth. We forget the bigger picture: that none of this really matters. We came into this earth with nothing, and we will leave the same way. What does matter is how you spend your time here. Are you going to spend your time here glorifying God, and spreading His word to those who need to hear it? Or are you going to spend your time messing around with money, fame, and other fake treasures?
I have come to the conclusion that every time we try to plan out our own lives, God just sits in His throne and literally LOL's at all of us. I'm not talking some light giggles, I'm talking hysterically laughing so hard that He is probably rolling on the floor by the end of the thought.
All in all, I believe that the will to trust and be obedient to God has shown me some of the most amazing and beautiful stories in lives of the people around me. I have had friends who travel outside of the country to serve the Lord, and return saying that it was the greatest and most humbling experience they have ever encountered before. Would they have imagined traveling overseas to do missionary work five years ago? Never. Were they completely satisfied knowing that they listened to the Lord's plan for them? Yes. In fact, one of my friends are moving back overseas to serve the Lord, and it encourages me so much knowing that this was not in any way her plan for her life. She listened to God's tug on her heart, and was immediately obedient.
Of course, it's not in God's plan for everyone to move overseas, but it could be anything. A trial, a move, an illness, a death, a divorce; these are all real things that happen. These are also all things that we learn from, grow from, and hopefully learn to understand. These things are all part of a very specific order of events that only God knows, before they even happen. You can't prevent these things, or come close to predicting them, either.
Matthew 11:28 - Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
John 14:27 - Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
So now, let me ask you...are you willing to let go, and let God?

xx
Ash

Psalm 16:11 - You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

p.s. follow my friend, Amanda, as she travels to Australia to serve the Lord for two whole years on her blog: https://simplyamandablog.wordpress.com (love you Mandy) :)

13 drafts

I opened up my laptop again this morning just to end up closing it after a chunk of time was spent writing with subdued ideas. Looking through my drafts from the past two months or so, I found it frustrating that my words weren't good enough for my own satisfaction, let alone someone else's.
It got me thinking: why do I really care that much, honestly? Why do I let other's opinions control my actions, and furthermore, my life?
More often than not, I let the thoughts of [you're a fake and a swindler, or you are not important and your voice doesn't matter] get into my head. It is a terrible habit to think like that, but I think that in different ways we all struggle with how we react to the opinions of others. If we didn't, we wouldn't be human.
In the bible, there is a boy named David, who is the perfect representation of the courage we should have in God. David was no mighty man, as he tended to his sheep on a day-to-day basis. The Israelites were terrified of a warrior of the Philistines, Goliath, whom had challenged them to send out a man to battle him. The deal was: if no man could defeat Goliath, the Israelites would become slaves to the Philistines. David went off to Saul to tell him that he was going to fight Goliath himself, because he did not fear the giant warrior. When Saul agreed to send David, this tiny sheep herder with no fighting experience, to fight Goliath, the largest and scariest warrior known at the time, everyone doubted that David would return. Honestly, I would too. David however fought in the name of the Lord, and he successfully defeated Goliath with a single slingshot and stone. Imagine if he would have listened to the opinions of those people who did not believe he could come through. His people would have been enslaved for their lives.
I was talking with my mentor a while back about social media and the extent of its purpose. The conversation began with the belittling of any and all social media sites, as it gives room for boasting, temptation, selfish motive, jealous intention, and even dangerous oversharing of information. While social media "sin" tends to be a very slippery slope to fall into, it was also a resource that God allowed us to have to use for good. Think about all of the people you follow, or the people that follow you, whom you don't see on a daily, weekly, or even monthly basis. They see what you post, regardless if they "like" the content of it. Think of the impacts you could make on the lives of those people if you used your social media site as your ministry. Don't you want someone to look at your life and say: what is so different about them? Where does their true joy come from? What separates them from the world? Following up those questions, don't you want them to see that the only answer is Jesus? You are completely capable of shining a light from afar, and social media is among one example of ways you can.
So, the point of this post? I just want to tell whoever is reading this that you are important. Everything you say has an impact on the receiver of the message in some way. God uses His people through ways that we will never understand.
Be courageous with your words and your faith, but be gentle in the meantime. Love those around you, no matter if it is directly or indirectly. Go the extra mile to serve others without expecting anything in return. Pay attention to the little things. Pray with the kids you babysit before bedtime. Talk about God as if he is your best friend. Be transparent with people. Practice what you preach.
Have the same courage that David had in God; He will never fail you, and that is a fact.

Sincerely,

"Published" Ash.
xx

9/11

I know, I know. I just posted a few days ago about how I wasn't going to be blogging for a while.
...I lied. 
But that is because, and ONLY because, yesterday and today were both very important days.

September 10: Yesterday was World Suicide Prevention Day. I have so many opinions that I keep to myself about suicide, one being the fact that I believe it is a selfish act. The act and attempt have both hurt the people around me, and myself as well. Besides the fact that I think it is selfish, I DO understand that it is, without-a-doubt, a REAL thing that goes on in this world. I am not close to understanding what it is like to want to take my life, for I have never had those thoughts, but I have seen the hurt and pain that comes from it. I have seen the misery that follows the act; I have seen the grief, the sorrow, the regret. I guess my whole point to this is the following:

You will never be too "messed up" to a point where God can't fix you. Seriously. No matter how bad stuff gets, or how distant people are, or how twisted your thoughts may seem, God will NEVER leave you. He won't. Ever. We sing a song at church that says: "life is worth the living, just because He lives". Can I get an AMEN??!!???!!!!? In all of these things, we are MORE than conquerors. You are here for a reason, and no one in this world has the right to tell you other wise, ESPECIALLY yourself. Many people believe we are our biggest enemies, and I think that is partially true. We are our own biggest critiques, but with the power of God we can overcome anything. Please don't ever forget: your value does not ever decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth.
September 11: I stumbled upon a few pictures this morning. Here they are:

...are you in complete awe like I was? I have known the meaning of the rainbow since I was a baby who could barely run without tipping over, but I realized that not many people know the true meaning. A rainbow represents God's promise to His people. It was in the story of Noah's Ark, and He promised he would never flood the world again. It is the most beautiful representation of a promise that anyone could ever think of. Seriously, props to you God! Two rainbows were shining bright yesterday afternoon over where the two twin towers use to stand. This has to be one of the most amazing things I have ever lived to see. Today is a day to remember those who were, fourteen years ago, headed off to a normal day at work but never returned home to their families and loved ones. It's a day to remember to take a little extra time to tell those around you that you appreciate them, and care for the unconditionally. It's a day to remember to never take life for granted, and to be thankful for every individual day you have been blessed to carry on. It is a day to remember that no matter what you are going through, our God is just and righteous and faithful and will never leave us, because that is His promise. 

Sincerely,

Ashley.
xx

Dear Friends, Family, Acquaintances, Subscribers, Lost Internet-Seekers:

My life recently has been a giant blur of multiple things all factoring into one central idea: my future. School has started up, which has actually been going great. My classes are fairly easy, and for the most part, I have been fortunate enough to get decent teachers. Along with school, the thought of what I want to study has (obviously) been clouding my mind with many random thoughts. Setting goals has been a huge part of this past week or so, and I have my mind set on particularly one goal for my future. This goal is time consuming, physically draining, and ultimately very risky when it comes to pouring all of my focus towards it. I know I can accomplish it, however it surely will take lots of time, effort, and energy. It could take a few months, it could take a year, but all I know is that it is what has been on my mind and it will be what my focus is on for the next while. I believe in myself, and that is the only consent I need. Of course, nothing will go the way planned I am sure... but I do know that God has got me where He wants me at the right times, and there is no such thing as a coincidence. This is me taking advantage of those moments, the people He has placed in my life, and my passions for certain things.
Due to the demand for time that this will consume, I will be stepping away from social media for a bit. I guess this is essentially a "pointless" blog post, but I just wanted to leave an explanation post for my lack of involvement with my website. No, I do not owe anyone an explanation, but it settles better with me knowing I put it out there. I know probably eight people total will see this post, but that's because it will be eight people whom I care about and whom I hope care for me.
Until my goal is accomplished, I will talk to you all soon.

"Do not tell people about your dreams, show them."

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11.

Sincerely,

Girl With a Dream.
xx

bye bye seventeen...

Well guys... it is currently 8:52 pm on a Monday night and I am laying in bed on the family laptop thinking about the past 17 years + 364 days + 21 hours + 8 minutes. The date is August 24, 2015, and it is officially my last day as a "child". I am not quite sure I can collect all of the thoughts in my head and write them down all within the next three hours, but I have one outlying thought I would like to share.

These past seventeen years have been so good to me, no doubt. I was talking with a friend today about how silly troubles of the past seem now, but that back then it seemed like the world was going to cave in. It is so ironic how the troubles of my toddler years were not having the community coloring book to myself, or leaving the house without my teddy bear. Yes, those were the moments where I literally thought the world itself was ending. In my teen years, my troubles progressed to curfew times, boys my parents did not approve of, and clothes that magically disappeared from my closet *cough-ALYSSA-cough*. Again- the end of the world. Period. Now, I find myself surrounded by an older generation much more often, and their struggles seem to be so much more "real" than mine used to be. Financial problems, infertility, and drug/substance abuse are just among the list of the stories I hear on a day-to-day basis. 

With all that being said, you would think that I am terrified of this idea that tomorrow I am a "grown-up". I was reading a book earlier called Anything, by Jennie Allen, and I came across a beautiful statement. "You have to thank God for the seemingly good and the seemingly bad because really, you don't know the difference." I have been completely blessed with a healthy and plentiful eighteen years of life, and most of the time I completely take this for granted. For the years to come, I wish I could say I am ready, but all I can say right now is I am preparing. I am preparing for a restless life, and a life that will be rich in love, friendship, family, and faith. I am also preparing for a life filled with struggle, disappointment, failure, and inconsistency...because let's face it, it happens to all of us. I am a strong believer in the fact that God will give and take away what He feels is best for His people, or what will draw His people nearer to Him. Even when life gets ugly and messy and nasty, it is still a part of the beautiful painting God has created on one of His canvases.

My hope and prayer for my future years to come is that I am willing to give up everything to do anything for the glory of God. I will move or stay; pursue or leave; speak or rest. Easier said than done, obviously...but I will take these things day by day, and I have no doubt I will be in a place where I belong. I am excited for these days to come. I can only hope that my canvas will be colorful.

Bring it on, eighteen.

Sincerely,

Girl Up Past School-Night Hours.

xx

Washington, Summer 2015 (pt. 4)

Our fifth and final day in Washington was amazing, and that day is the reason I miss it so much. Ever had one of those days where nothing in the day goes according to your plan? This was one of those days. Oddly enough, those days are my favorite days. (My Aunt, Dree and I actually discussed this topic in the car.) I am not a fan of surprises, and I am usually one who goes along with my day according to my schedule. Every destination that we planned to go to didn't work out. We tried four or five different places for dinner, but they were all way too packed. It was a Saturday night, and the streets were filled with the smell of smoke and authentic pizza. The sound of horns echoed between the tall city buildings and the once-in-a-while screech of tires would startle the elderly couples and kids holding their mom's hands. We found a hole-in-the-wall pizza joint and settled for a thin crust pepperoni pizza. Due to our inability to manage time wisely, we had to eat in ten minutes in order to catch the ferry at 8:10, so we stuffed our faces and ran a half mile down Pike Avenue to barely make it onto the boat. We managed to have boat security called on us, (long story), and caught a ferry that was running over an hour late back to Seattle. Roaming the streets searching for any coffee or ice cream shop was exhausting at 10:05 (they all happened to close at 10:00 btw). Admitting defeat, we wrapped up our adventure and headed home for the night. We jammed to our "song of the trip", Love Me Like You Mean It by Kelsea Ballerini, the whole ride home. We chatted about our days and adventures, and brainstormed about the future possibilities, This day felt so normal, so typical. I remember thinking to myself, this could be me everyday in a few years. I loved this day.

I miss you so dearly, WA. Please don't forget me.

Sincerely,

Girl Getting Back To Reality.
xx

Washington, Summer 2015 (pt. 3)

On our fourth day in Washington, I so very fortunately got to visit my other auntie, Shannon. We spent the day at the lake house with her and her family (minus Brandon), and had a blast paddle boarding, jet skiing, and barbecuing. :)

I love the lake. I love the water. I love boating. I think I have come to the conclusion that I would prefer the lake over the beach. 1 - The ocean scares me. 2 - I HATE sand. With a passion. 3 - The lake is so calm and relaxing. Loved this day with these people.

Sincerely,

Lake Lover.

xx

Washington, Summer 2015 (pt. 2)

Day three: Downtown Seattle. My Aunt took a day off of work so that she could hang out with us girls for the day. We were total tourists and visited just about every tourist destination that we possibly could.

First stop: The Troll.

Next: Thrift shopping while Auntie grocery shops.

Next Stop: Space Needle.

For Lunch: Starbucks Reserve & Roastery.

Next Stop: Pioneer Square.

Next Stop: Mark's Apartment.

Next Stop: Pike Place Market.

Next Stop: Original Starbucks.

Next Stop: Gum Wall. (Ew or Ahhh?)

Next Stop: Around downtown for dinner...

...and of course, dessert.

The city holds so much, and I loved getting to explore its nooks and crannies. I mean, I found a shirt that says "Without Ice Cream There Would Be Darkness And Chaos"... what more could I have asked for?

I sure do love this city.

Sincerely,

New-found City-girl.

xx