Well guys... it is currently 8:52 pm on a Monday night and I am laying in bed on the family laptop thinking about the past 17 years + 364 days + 21 hours + 8 minutes. The date is August 24, 2015, and it is officially my last day as a "child". I am not quite sure I can collect all of the thoughts in my head and write them down all within the next three hours, but I have one outlying thought I would like to share.
These past seventeen years have been so good to me, no doubt. I was talking with a friend today about how silly troubles of the past seem now, but that back then it seemed like the world was going to cave in. It is so ironic how the troubles of my toddler years were not having the community coloring book to myself, or leaving the house without my teddy bear. Yes, those were the moments where I literally thought the world itself was ending. In my teen years, my troubles progressed to curfew times, boys my parents did not approve of, and clothes that magically disappeared from my closet *cough-ALYSSA-cough*. Again- the end of the world. Period. Now, I find myself surrounded by an older generation much more often, and their struggles seem to be so much more "real" than mine used to be. Financial problems, infertility, and drug/substance abuse are just among the list of the stories I hear on a day-to-day basis.
With all that being said, you would think that I am terrified of this idea that tomorrow I am a "grown-up". I was reading a book earlier called Anything, by Jennie Allen, and I came across a beautiful statement. "You have to thank God for the seemingly good and the seemingly bad because really, you don't know the difference." I have been completely blessed with a healthy and plentiful eighteen years of life, and most of the time I completely take this for granted. For the years to come, I wish I could say I am ready, but all I can say right now is I am preparing. I am preparing for a restless life, and a life that will be rich in love, friendship, family, and faith. I am also preparing for a life filled with struggle, disappointment, failure, and inconsistency...because let's face it, it happens to all of us. I am a strong believer in the fact that God will give and take away what He feels is best for His people, or what will draw His people nearer to Him. Even when life gets ugly and messy and nasty, it is still a part of the beautiful painting God has created on one of His canvases.
My hope and prayer for my future years to come is that I am willing to give up everything to do anything for the glory of God. I will move or stay; pursue or leave; speak or rest. Easier said than done, obviously...but I will take these things day by day, and I have no doubt I will be in a place where I belong. I am excited for these days to come. I can only hope that my canvas will be colorful.
Bring it on, eighteen.
Sincerely,
Girl Up Past School-Night Hours.
xx
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